Sometimes I Wish....

Sometimes I wish a lot of things. I wish for more time, money, things, ect. Though I don't regret my life I do wish that I had figured out sooner in life what I really wanted to do. I always knew I wanted to be a mommy but I always knew I wanted to be more too. I just didn't know what I wanted that more to be. Now don't get me wrong being a mom is the greatest thing in the world. I take my hat off to all you SAHMs out there. I was a SAHM for a little bit but I was in a bad marriage and that just doesn't make the staying home thing a very pleasant expirence. My problem with being a SAHM is what happens after the children are grown and gone? That thought scared me because for me I didn't know. The thought of me having an empty house with no one to take care of except for the man of the house, no job experience, no schooling, nothing, just terrified me. I don't really enjoy working full time either. I love being able to spend time with my boys but I do like to work part time.

I have recently figured out what I want to do with my life. I accidently fell into a CNA position. I took a job working at a group home for mentally disabled adults to get out of fast food. There I met a lady who told me about a home health care company I might like so I tried that out. I loved taking care of people, I want to be a nurse. I had finally found my calling. The only problem was at that point I had 3 children and a 4th on the way and no way to pay for the college classes. So I looked into maybe having the company I was working for help but nope, they don't. So I scrapped up the money to take the classes that I needed to work at a hospital knowing that they would help with college. I now work for a hospital that will pay for 100% of my college classes as long I sign an agreement to work for them for so long for each semister but only after 2 years of employment. So I'm on the road headed to where I want to go and where I want to be but it just seems like it's taking forever and I can't help but wonder if only I had figured out how much I love nursing back in high school I would have already been a nurse now for a few years.

Like I said I don't regret making the choices I did because I have 5 beautiful wonderful boys that I wouldn't dream of trading for a career I just with that maybe I had could have figured things out a little sooner in life but still ended up with the same kids. I know I shouldn't play the what if games but it's so easy to do. It's so hard to ignore those voices everyday when I do to work and wish that I could do more than just assist the nurses. Eventually I will get there but for the time being I just have to be thankful for what I've got.

Tuesday's Tunes

I love this song for it's powerful lyrics. I think that it carries a heavy and and all to true message that life is way to short.


"If I Die Young" by The Band Perry



If I die young, bury me in satin,
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song


uh oh, uh oh


Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe when she stands under my colors,
Oh and, life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time.

If I die young, bury me in satin,
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn,
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had just enough time,

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom,
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger, and I've
Never know the loving of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, There's a
Boy here in town says he'll love me forvever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by,
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time,

So put on you best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughs, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar,
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner,
and maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing
Funny when your dead how people start listening.

If I die young, bury me in satin,
Lay me down on a, bed of roses,
sink me in the river, at dawn,
Send me away with the words of a love song

uh oh (uh, oh)

The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love,
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time.

So put on your best boys, and I'll wear my pearls.

Check out the video

FMBT

This week I'm linking up with Follow Me Back Tuesday host by Review Retreat, Boobies, Babies, and a Blog, Little Yaya's, and Survey Junkie.
You can link up too. Just hop over to any one of there blogs and follow their directions. They make it super easy.

Monday Funday

That's right it's Monday again and here is another joke to ease those Monday blues.

A doctor told a man that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell. I'll try it."
He spent all day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office, the restroom was to open and an alley was too unsafe. Finally he realized his solution.
On his way home he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at his pant leg. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"
He heard, "This is the police, What in the hell are you doing?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
The cop says, "Well, you better check your brakes too because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."

Getting to Know You

Today I'm linking up with MannLand5



The Q's..

1. Thong or Granny Panties?
Used to be Thongs then I had kids. Now I wear bikini cut.

2. If you see a guy with his fly down, do you tell him?
Yep I sure do, and depending on the situation and the guy I might tell him with a smile. :)

3. Spanx or no Spanx?
Would love the slim down

4. Do you sleep in your sheets?
Sometimes. If I'm hot I use just my sheet, but if I'm cold I ususlly kick off the sheet and just use the comforter.

5. What is your favorite Disney character?
Stitch

6. Dream vacation spot?
Anywhere with white sand, clear water, palm trees, sunshine, and warm temps.

7. What is your dream job?
Labor and Delievery Nurse

8. Who is your hero and why?
This is going to sound cliche but it's my mom. Was abused as a child in everyway possible, raised me and my brother by herself put herself through college, beat 2 kinds of cancer. She is an amazing person and is always ther when I need/want her.

I Just Don't Know

I'm not sure how I managed to do this, but somehow I managed to follow my self. I was trying to change my picutre and I ended up follow my self with my old picture. I'm very new to this world here and I'm learning as I go but I seriously don't understand how this one happened. My new picture is now there but when I look at my followers there is my old picture. I don't have 2 accounts and if I don't I don't know any of the information for it. When I click on my picture it brings me to all my information for this blog with my new picutre yet the old picture remains. I guess it doesn't really bother me all that much other than I just don't understand it. Oh well.

Fawk You Friday

I'm linking up with Jana from boobies babies and a blog
this week for Fawk you Friday. I've had a rough week so here it is.

Fawk you to my man's job where is continues to get dumped on.

Fawk you to the "friend" who I called to vent to a little who then turned around and said she didn't want to deal with my problems.

Fawk you to the ex who thinks he is doing his fatherly duty by paying 40 dollars a month in child support and picking his kids up 1 day a month.

Fawk you to the viruses that I seem to get constantly on my computer.

Fawk you to ear infection which my 2 month old has.

Fawk you to tonsilist which my 2 year old has.

Fawk you to sinus infection which my 3 year old has.

Fawk you to the endless pile of bills that just keep coming and coming.